Father Harry, the Son of Christ, this cry for mercy. Maybe I'm not, I hope I'm not indiscreet if I share your petition to know with the rest of the community where you wrote to me on the 26th of February I have now been at Barnsavia nearly four months. That's the reason why we had to change a little the britos of reception. So it isn't just recently arrived. And from the first have indeed desired to flee the world, but not just for the sake of flight. I have had a far greater desire to fly to Christ in the company of my spiritual brothers in this monastery.

[01:03]

A desire which does not increase with the passing of time, but, contrary-wise, increases. And I can best describe my present spiritual situation by indicating that I seem to be agonizingly suspended interiorly, between earth and heaven, with no desire, no intention of falling back to earth, no power to pull myself up to heaven. This seemed to be an extreme analogy, but it does, after a fashion, give a true picture of the quality of anxiety I'm presently and happily experiencing. I read this so that we all may feel that this is for you a happy moment and also to tell you that we very happily agree and come to your aid to free you from the agony

[02:24]

to make it possible for you, and as the circumstances bring it with them on this day, on which we celebrate the, now in the context of the preparation for Easter, the preparation for baptism, you come to that point where the, where the, commandments of God are explained to the candidates for baptism and with the authority of the Old Testament and then with the fulfilling the spirit of the New Testament. I think that both, you know, these things are so propitious and so important for you because a step like this you will remember it's a beginning and the beginning has in itself always at least in the world of Christ it always has the somehow the whole thing, the fulfillment already in it

[03:51]

it in some way. So also this, if you day to day, if you take off the clothes of the world and if you put on the tunic and then join the company of brethren in the daily monastic life with the full schedule of then of course that is for you, that is an important step. And I think we are all grateful to God that he makes it possible to us as this community to receive you, to respond to the call of God's grace in your heart. And it makes us happy to think that the grace of God has that you hear, that you have this enough confidence in this community, that you love it, and I know from many talks that we have had in the past that right from the first beginning when you came here simply something struck you after a long life with many various, how can I say,

[05:19]

others won't call these curves. It's a way, you know, goes up the mountain and goes this way and that way. Now, isn't it somehow... Hairpin? Hairpin turns, you know. There's many hairpin turns in it, too. And now there you are. And there you are like a newborn child in that joy of the beginning. That makes us really, makes us happy. We have already, with all the cold and the snow, still spring is in the air. The sun begins really to smile and promises Easter and promises the resurrection, the day, and all the flowers of the fields, you know, will come to bloom. So that is in the end that fills us with great happiness and we all hope and we pray as we did already this morning at the litany that the beautiful prayer of Holy Communion of this Mass will be fulfilled for you so that you truly can pray you have

[06:48]

made known to me the ways of life in that beautiful rule of Saint Benedict, which is now your weight of life, that you have known it and you love it, and may then God also fill you with joy, with his countenance that is the last. aim and purpose of our life and it's very I think it's good you know that we think about it and you too that that this last longing we all have for the countenance of the Lord for the face of the Lord your face oh Lord we seek that in the Old Testament context and also in the rabbinic interpretation of the Old Testament, these two things just cannot be separated from one another.

[08:02]

The law, the way of life, and the faith of God. The faith of God simply is already in the Jewish interpretation of the Old Testament. It is connected inseparably, inseparably with that specific practical orientation that lights the lamp for our feet that the law gives to us. And that of course in the presence of Christ, the spirit of Christ, where two or three are gathered together in my name, there this law, as it were, becomes and is manifested in the name. And the name is Yahweh, is our salvation, Jesus.

[09:03]

And that is, see, in that way, that is the meaning of Providence. So often also, you of course, you are an older man, you have passed many phases in the way of life, has been long, and there were many hairpin curls where you wouldn't see where it all was leading to, then suddenly this kind of light, you know, you see somehow darkest moment of his life. See, all these things are very real, dear brother, son in Christ, and I'm glad to know that the past has prepared you to more deeply and maturely and quietly consider these things and then respond to them, not in the spur of the moment, but

[10:07]

respond to them on the bottom of your heart in a way which then promises stability with that organic growth, you know, and fruit. So may he then lead you to the vision of his face.

[10:30]

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